☆★ 30062009 ☆★

at night time , everything was just fine .
mother & father is laughing together , everyone is happy .
father joking with mother , mother laughing .
they're both happy , & i feel happy too .
but i don't know why suddenly something happened .
they both everytime talked about money will qurallel de .
& then later mother will want jump down from building all these .
& the thing is , i don't know why suddenly they talked about money again .
i felt so scared at that time you know ?
mother tried not to cry le , but she cannot tahan she cried out .
then they started to qurallel about money again .
then mother go call don't know who talk .
then cry cry cry , then say want jump down from building .
said want give back everything to father .
then i'm damn scared , i cried out .
& mother went to kitchen go toliet , then i stand outside wait .
suddenly she came out & go to wash hands .
then she tooked the knife in the kitchen , oh my .
father rushed to mother & snatched the knife .
& then he asked mother relax & cool down , don't like this .
then i don't know what to do at that time , just kept looking .
my heart was like giving a knife stab .
feel so painful , i don't want to lose my mother i love her .
in the world , if there's no her there's no me .
if she die , i'll die i won't want to survive .
i need my mother , i can't live without her .
& then at midnight 1.00am something she haven't sleep yet .
then i also don't want sleep , cause i scared later anything happen to her .
then she asked me go sleep , i don't want .
she said , if she want die she won't die infront of us .
she will die when nobody see her , then i said .
like this you asked me go sleep i where dare sleep ? i scared .
i scared you just go like this , i cannot live without you .
then i don't want sleep & then father don't know why come blame me .
then keep scold me cheebye kia cheebye kia , i forced myself not to cry .
i ren , ren ren till father asked my mother go sleep .
than my mother asked me go sleep , say he don't want see my face .
then i bo bian go into room , & i cried inside the room .
kept thinking what to do , heart hurts .
i really scared , i am so so scared .